On the evening of Thursday, August 16, 2018, at approximately six o’clock, a gym member approached me with a strong hand shake extending his gratitude and respects for my efforts, energy and expertise provided to my group fitness classes over the past twelve months. I was informed of his international studies, and that this would be his last class until departure. Before I was able to truly express my appreciation for all his hard work he was gone.
This incident occurred during the time I begun writing letters sharing memories and thanks to those who have come and gone throughout my life. I had too much to say to this kind fellow but didn’t have the chance. As irritating it was, I had to let it go.
Fast forward two days later- August, 18, 2018; I took my mother out for a belated birthday celebration. Following a delightful dinner at Mora in Phoenix, we end up at a friend’s bar up the street- Irene’s Tap house. We enjoyed groovy live music from 'The Hardways’ and good company of jolly drunken strangers.
I learned that the semicolon, which was tattooed below a gentleman’s left eye, represents anti-suicide- also grammatically used to pause a sentence- but most importantly, it symbolizes the continuation of that particular thought or idea, in this case, the on-going of life!
In between different encounters, I catch the attention of a younger group of folks about my age. Friendly, funny, attractive and sociable, they talk me in to accompanying them at their next stop, Culinary Dropout’s The Yard. After kindly rejecting their offer, they continued to persuade me with charm. My mother caught a lift home, and I begun the night with a tipsy group of friends.
I am unsure of what sparked the initial thought, or what drove me to do what I did upon arriving at the second venue. In that short duration of driving from point a to b, I imagined, as I do often, scenarios before they happen.
If I recall correctly, it began with a personal observation...
"As an individual enters a room, people often turn to look and possibly share their opinion about that person with others in the group. This may be a reason we avoid eye contact with others. Have you ever wondered what or who you might be missing due to fright or insecurity? What if you did the opposite?
For example, instead of looking at the ground or for your party, look at those you don’t know even if it means making eye contact with everyone in the room regardless of whether they choose to look at you or not.”
OUT-SMILE EVERYONE IN THE ROOM!
That was the approach I took upon entering The Yard.
In the process, I quickly spot my newest friends, and take an immediate left in the opposite direction. Next, I scan every face in the room- acknowledging the presence of each individual.
And who do I see next?
The gentleman from Thursday’s group fitness class!
I was able to send him off with a genuine, warm-hearted farewell after all.
FOUR things I learned this evening:
1 ) Be open to talking with & meeting strangers! They could become your next best friend, partner in crime or business partner.
2) Opportunities are not in the places we travel, but rather in the people we meet. As I’ve said before, they are the greatest landmarks!
3) Scan and acknowledge every face (with a smile) in the room no matter where you are! Awareness is a tool we are all capable of using.
4) Comfort zones are for the faint-hearted! Get out, take a chance, become vulnerable, risk the odds, and lose your ego.
*Additional Note:
While writing this I overheard a woman at the table beside me say to her friend, “I feel too seen.”
Exactly my point…
You mustn’t expect to find what you’re looking for, whether it be happiness, a dream job, love or friendships if you are always hiding in your bubble.
-Son of Mark
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